dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
