I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
