How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
