I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Pants are for mortals
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
