he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
