please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
