Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
