Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
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we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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