when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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