First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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