party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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