Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
