Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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