Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Someone signed my nipple.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
