We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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