JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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