he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
