I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
