i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
