Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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