So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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