Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
