dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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