i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize