Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
