Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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