I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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