I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
