no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have already put on my inside pants.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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