As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
