I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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