Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
