She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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