I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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