Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
