A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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