My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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