He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
