Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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