Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
