My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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