Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
