The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
