I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
