I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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