sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
