One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
