Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
