Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
