Say something about gay babies.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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