The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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