one two three fourrrrnication!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
