i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
