Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
