she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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