The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
