Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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