If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
