Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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