She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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