Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize