I molested 6 butterflies tonight
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
