I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
