youre lurking in front of me
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why is your signature on my underwear?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
